(It says here that by the age of six … most children have seen a million murders on television. I find that very disturbing! It means I’ve been watching all the wrong channels.)
(I’m not eating this green stuff. Yecchh! Good idea, Calvin. It’s a plate of toxic waste that will turn you into a mutant if you eat it. Mmmm. Scrape. Urf. Smack. There has got to be a better way to make him eat! Ahhh … I can feel it working.)
(Dad, how come you live in this house with mom … instead of an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates? Boy! Ask a simple question, and get all your television privileges revoked.)
(Hobbes, have you ever kissed a girl? A few I guess. Really? What was it like? Mmmmmmmm Pop! … only a lot more so! Gaack! I was hoping it wouldn’t be so fuzzy …)
(What do you find attractive in women, Hobbes? Well, I’ve always been partial to redheads … with green eyes. I like green eyes … and whiskers! Long whiskers! Let’s change the subject.)
(Having transformed myself into a werewolf, I search for human sacrifice! Hi Dad! Mm … hello. Calvin, stop that disgusting drooling!)
(I love winter days. They’re so peaceful. Ha ha! Gotcha Susie! Hey, you dummy! You’ll never be able to throw a snow ball that big! Ha! Stupid girl! Hey, what are you doing? Get away. Hey! Put me down! Where are you taking me?! Hey! Hey! Chunk.)
Loving my family, loving my friends, loving my life, and having hopes of a wonderful future...