Calvin and Hobbes 1986.01

In: Calvin and Hobbes

26 Feb 2009

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1986-01-01
Dad, how come you live in this house with mom … instead of an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates? Boy! Ask a simple question, and get all your television privileges revoked.『爸,你是怎么和妈住到一个房子里的?』 『怎么没和那些衣衫不整的女人们住在一起?』 『唉!就问了个简单的问题,怎么就不让看电视了?』

1986-01-02
Hobbes, have you ever kissed a girl? A few I guess. Really? What was it like? Mmmmmmmm Pop! … only a lot more so! Gaack! I was hoping it wouldn’t be so fuzzy …『霍布斯,你亲过女孩吗?』 『好像亲过几次』 『真的?感觉怎么样?』 *嚒~~~啊~~~啪 『……跟这个差不多~』 『天哪!但愿女孩脸上没这么多毛……』

1986-01-03
What do you find attractive in women, Hobbes? Well, I’ve always been partial to redheads … with green eyes. I like green eyes … and whiskers! Long whiskers! Let’s change the subject.『霍布斯,你觉得女人哪最有魅力?』 『嗯,满头红发……』 『……绿色的眼睛,没错,绿色的』 『……还有胡须,长长的!』 『咱们还是聊点别的吧』

1986-01-04
Having transformed myself into a werewolf, I search for human sacrifice! Hi Dad! Mm … hello. Calvin, stop that disgusting drooling!『我是狼人,找个人,我要把他撕碎!』 『嗨,爸』 『嗯……好』 『开尔文,别再流口水了,恶心死了!』

1986-01-05
I love winter days. They’re so peaceful. Ha ha! Gotcha Susie! Hey, you dummy! You’ll never be able to throw a snow ball that big! Ha! Stupid girl! Hey, what are you doing? Get away. Hey! Put me down! Where are you taking me?! Hey! Hey! Chunk.『我喜欢冬天,多平静啊!』 『哈,苏茜,打中你喽!』 『嘿!傻瓜!那么大的雪球,你丟得动吗?哈,笨蛋!』 『嘿,干嘛?别过来!』 『嘿!放下!把我带哪去?嗨!嗨!』 *哐!

1986-01-06
All right class, who would like to give his book report first? Calvin, how about you? Calvin? Calvin? Spaceman Spiff cooly draws his death ray blaster …『好,谁来给大家读读书报告?』 『卡尔文,你先来?』 『卡尔文?』 『卡尔文?』 『宇航员斯皮夫冷静地摸出死亡射线枪……』

1986-01-07
2 + 7 = I cannot answer this question, as it is against my religious principles. It’s worth a shot.『2 + 7 = ?』 “这题我答不了,因为它和我的信条相违背” 『多酷的答案』

1986-01-08
Hobbes, what do you think happens to us when we die? I think we play saxophone for an all-girl cabaret in New Orleans. So you  believe in heaven? Call it what you like.『霍布斯,我们死后会怎么样?』 …… 『在奥尔良的夜总会为女孩们吹萨克斯吧』 『你相信有天堂?』 『你想叫天堂就叫它天堂好了』

1986-01-09
We are a fierce and dirty band of cutthroat pirates! Keep a sharp lookout Matey. We want no sissy girls on our ship! We don’t like girls? Of course not dummy! We’re a murderous bunch of pirates, remember?! Who do we smooch then?『我们是一帮凶恶残暴嗜血成性的海盗!』 『盯紧点儿,伙计,别让那些胆小没用的女孩上船』 『我们不喜欢女孩吗?』 『那当然了,笨蛋!咱们是杀人如麻的海盗啊,你忘了?』 『那咱们跟谁亲嘴呢?』

1986-01-10
What did you bring for show and tell Susie? I brought a letter I wrote to our congressman. What did you bring? A bag of dead bugs I collected from our window sills. Best of all, this way mom didn’t have to pack me a lunch!『今天口语课你准备讲什么,苏茜?』 『给议员的一封信』 『你呢?』 『从窗台上收集的一堆死虫子』 『最棒的是,妈都免了给我准备午餐了!』

1986-01-11
We’ll Hobbes, we did it again. We’re separated from the troop and hopelessly lost. Fortunately, our motto is "Be prepared." With this full backpack we can stay out here for weeks! Just so long as we don’t get hungry.『霍布斯,又回这儿来了,看来咱们跟大部队失散,彻底迷路了』 『不过还好,咱们的座右铭就是“有备无患”』 『瞧我带这满满一包,就算在这待上几周都没问题!』 『只要肚子不饿』

1986-01-12
I’m home from school! So I gathered. Hobbes? Yaaaaah! Aaaaugh! Tiger attack! Calvin! Quit crashing around! Hobbes jumped me Mom! I was fighting for my very survival!! Sure Calvin. Look, I don’t want to sew Hobbes up again, so why don’t you two go do something quiet? Okay, okay … You sissy. Mom always takes your side! That’s because she wanted another tiger, not you!『妈,我回来啦』 『没看见我正收拾东西吗』 『霍布斯?』 『啊!!』 『啊~~~老虎扑!』 *呯嗙呯嗙呯嗙 『卡尔文,别折腾了!』 『是霍布斯,他先扑我的!我是正当防卫』 『唉,卡尔文,我可不想再缝霍布斯了,你俩还是做些温和点的游戏吧,好吗?』 『好吧好吧』 『你这娘娘腔,妈老是护着你!』 『她宁愿生只老虎,也不想再要个儿子了!』

1986-01-13
Calvin, pass this note to Jessica. It’s a secret note, so don’t read it. Calvin you stinkhead: I told you not to read this. Susie.『卡尔文,把纸条传给杰西卡』 『要保密,不许偷看』 “卡尔文你个臭坏蛋,说了不让偷看的 ——苏茜”

1986-01-14
That dirty Susie Derkins. She’ll be sorry if she tries to pass another note. Psst … Calvin! Pass this secret note to Jessica, okay? Teacher! Susie’s passing notes! Take this away and read it in front of the class! "Dear Jessica, you know what I hate about Calvin? He’s a squealer! Signed, Susie." I hope you know a good dentist, Susie …『可恶的苏茜,再让我传纸条走着瞧!』 『嗨……卡尔文,把这个秘密纸条传给杰西卡』 『老师!苏茜上课传纸条!快给大家读读!』 “亲爱的杰西卡,知道我为什么讨厌卡尔文吗?因为他是个大喇叭!——苏茜” 『最好找个好牙医,苏茜……』

1986-01-15
Now look! You got us sent to the principal’s office! Gosh! Do you think we’ll get paddled?? They can’t paddle me! I’m a girl!! What’s that got to do with it? Girls have more delicate heinies.『看你干的好事!这下咱俩都得去校长室!』 『天哪!我们不会挨揍吧?』 『他们不能打我,我可是个-女孩儿!!』 『女孩怎么了?』 『女孩的屁股更娇嫩啊』

1986-01-16
Calvin, I don’t want to be spanked! What if it goes on our academic transcripts? We’ll be ruined! Sniff. Darn you Calvin!! You’re gonna answer to my parents if I can’t get my masters degree!『卡尔文,我可不想被打屁股』 『要是写到成绩单上就惨了』 『呜呜……』 『该死的卡尔文!!我要是拿不到硕士学位你得给我爸妈一个交代!』

1986-01-17
Calvin and Susie, would you come in my office please? It was all his fault Mr. Spittle! That’s a lie! She started it! Are you going to spank us?? I’ll never pass notes again! Don’t spank us!! Waaahhhh!! I wish we were dead!! I hate this job.『卡尔文,苏茜,你们来一下』 『斯皮特先生,是他的错』 『她说慌!是她捣乱!』 『你不会打我们屁股吧?』 『我再也不传纸条了!别打我们屁股!!』 『哇~~~~!没法活啦!!』 『我讨厌这工作』

1986-01-18
Now I want you both to pay better attention in class. Understood? Yes sir. Okay, you may return to your room now. Thank you Mr. Spittle. Calvin? You may return to your room. Calvin? The Zorg draws nearer Spiff sets his blaster on "medium well" …『你们两个,以后上课认真点』 『是 先生』 『好,你们回教室吧』 『谢谢,斯皮特先生』 『开尔文,回去吧』 『开尔文?』 『佐格怪兽越来越逼近,斯皮夫把手里的武器调到了“中流激射”档……』

1986-01-19
It says here that "Religion is the opiate of the masses." … what do you suppose that means? … it means Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet. What are you watching? Garbage. This show would insult a 6-year-old! And I should know. So why watch it? All the other shows are even worse! Why watch TV at all then? There’s nothing to do. Nothing to do?! You could read a book! Or write a letter! Or take a walk! When you’re old you’ll wish you had more than memories of this tripe to look back on. Undoubtedly. 『书上说“信仰不是大众的麻醉剂”……什么意思?』 『说明卡尔马克思不看电视……』 『看什么呢?』 『垃圾!这节目简直是侮辱六岁孩子的智商!别以为我看不懂!』 『那还看?』 『反正也没什么别的事可做』 『没别的事?可以看看书啊、写写信啊、或出去走走啊!』 『等你老了肯定不希望记忆里都是些这样的废话吧』 『那当然啦』

1986-01-20
… and with that report, we … 『……据报道,我们……』click『咔』 beeeoooop『哔-噗』 click『咔』 rats.『骗人的』

1986-01-21
Mom, can I take up the floorboards in my room and make a secret passageway?『妈,我可以把房间的地板掀开,打条秘密通道吗?』 Of course not, Calvin. Don’t be ridiculous. 『当然不行,卡尔文,别异想天开了』Why can’t I?『为什么不行?』 Because you’d come right through the kitchen ceiling. I said don’t do it.『因为你会从厨房的天花板掉下来,我说过不行了』 Okay, okay … 『好吧好吧』how quietly do you think we can nail these back in?『咱们该怎么能把这些悄悄钉回去呢?』

1986-01-22
What’s this disgusting slimy blob? Try it. You’ll love it. Oh yeah? Well what if I don’t love it?!? Then it will build character. That’s my dad. Always looking out for me.『这些恶心的粘疙瘩是什么啊』『尝尝啊,你会喜欢的』『真的吗?要是我不喜欢怎么办?』『那还可以磨练品格啊』『瞧,老爸总是留一手防着我』

1986-01-23
Calvin! You’re going to be late for school! Get up! Calvin, it’s almost 7:30! Are you up?? I’m coming. See? I told you it wouldn’t work! Of course not, dummy! You didn’t put on any pants!『卡尔文!上学要迟到啦!赶紧起床!』『卡尔文,快七点半啦,起了没?』『来啦』『看吧,我说了没用的』『当然没用了,你连裤子都忘了穿!』

1986-01-24
Do you know where babies come from? Nope. Well, I wonder how one finds out! … here, let me see the back of your shirt. You came from Taiwan.『知道小孩是从哪来的吗?』『不清楚』『唉,要是有人知道就好了』『……好吧,让我看看你背心上的标签』『你是从台湾来的』

1986-01-25
Hey Mom, when’s lunch? Later Calvin. I’m busy. But I’m hungry now! I wanna eat! A map to the refrigerator. Hilarious.『嗨,妈,啥时候开饭?』『等会吧,卡尔文,我正忙着哪』『可我现在就饿!我要吃!』『一张去冰箱的地图,好极了』

1986-01-26
McZargald’s … next exit … 50 Megazorks. Over 7Million earthlingburgers served." Spaceman Spiff is going down!!! We join our hero as he struggles to land his damaged spacecraft! The altitude flaps refuse to respond, but fearless Spiff is unfazed! Spiff careens through the alien canyon! Is this the end?? No! moments before impact, Spiff ejects! Now are you through charging around the house or are you going to fall down the stairs again? Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien …『佐格……在下一站……还有五千万佐刻』『提供七千五百万个地球汉堡』『宇航员斯皮夫就要着陆啦』『让我们看看我们的大英雄,他驾着破损的太空船,曾在努力着陆』『升降副冀失去控制,不过斯皮夫全无惧色』『斯皮夫穿过那些诡异的峡谷,他就要完蛋了吗?』『不,在最后关头斯皮夫弹了出来!』『下面是满屋子冲来冲去,还是再从楼地上滚下来一次?』『我们的英雄慢慢恢复了意识,就在刻薄的外星怪物脚边……』

1986-01-27
Hi, Dad. It’s me Calvin! How’s work going? … uh huh … pretty day out, isn’t it? … yep … are you bringing me home any presents tonight? … no? Well, just thought I’d ask … listen, I suppose you’re wondering why I called …『喂,老爸是我,卡尔文!』『工作怎么样?……啊……外面天气真不错,是吧……对啊……』『晚上回家会给我带礼物吗?……不?哦,我就是随便问问……』『好吧,你肯定奇怪为什么要打这个电话给你……』

1986-01-28
Dad, your polls took a big dive this week. Your "Overall Dad performance" rating was especially low. See? Right about yesterday your popularity went down the tubes. Calvin, you didn’t get dessert yesterday because you flooded the house!! I’d suggest a new line of work "Dad" …『老爸,你的投票支持率本周大幅下挫』『你的“身为父亲表现”得票率尤其低』『瞧,昨天你的支持率下降到了极点』『卡尔文,昨天没有甜点,是惩罚你水淹房子!!』『建议你还是做些调整,“父亲”……』

1986-01-29
The giant slimy octopus oozes across the beach. His hideous presence terrorizes the sleepy waterfront community. With a sucker-covered tentacle, he grabs an unsuspecting tourist. A muffled scream lingers in the salty air! Did you want something Calvin?『硕大粘软的巨大章鱼在海滩匍匐前进』『他的狰狞面目,让平静的海滩聚会蒙上了一层恐怖的阴影』『他利用暗藏吸盘的触角,捕获了一名毫无防备的游客,压抑的尖叫声在泛着咸味的空气中飘荡』『你在干嘛,卡尔文?』

1986-01-30
Uh-oh. Here comes Moe. The class bully! Okay twinky, let’s have that ball. Sure, Moe. All yours. Never argue with a six-year-old who shaves.『啊-喔,是摩尔,欺软怕硬的家伙』『嘿,小子,把球给我』『行,摩尔,他是你的了』『永远别和六岁的强盗争辩』

1986-01-31
Hey! You took my favorite swing! That’s true Moe. How about that? … uh … His train of thought is still boarding at the station.『嘿!你占了我的秋千』『没错,摩尔,那又怎么样?』『……嗯……』『他好像一下子还反应不过来』

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fly51fly’s rule for life

Loving my family, loving my friends, loving my life, and having hopes of a wonderful future...

爱家人,爱朋友,爱生活,面带微笑期待每一个幸福的明天……

Be Happy!

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